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Stutz: Mental Health Gold Nuggets


I'm not a huge Netflix fan. Maybe a handful of times a year I will watch a short series or documentary (no fiction allowed, of course, it has to be "real life").

So when I saw Sally Metelerkamp's tweet thread summarising the documentary Stutz, with its unique vibe and priceless takeaways, I had to ask her if it was okay to post her wisdom as a blog.

I figured this particular approach to therapy and its message may help someone in our community. Sal kindly agreed (and the reflections were so good, I ended up watching it and was glad I did).

Sally is the Founder and CEO of Lived, a cause close to my heart, given my dad's battle with alcohol addiction that claimed his life far too young. Go check it out if you are looking for a healthier relationship with alcohol, and immerse yourself in some brain food below.

 

*****

 

Go watch “Stutz” on Netflix.

Dr. Stutz gives tools to help combat depression and dark days. Tbh, this will help anyone with a brain, on any type of day. I learned more in 90 minutes than I did in my last 10 therapy sessions.

A thread, 5 concepts:

 

1. Activate Your Life Force

"The only way to find out what you should be doing, who you are, is to activate your life force."

"The life force is the only part of you capable of guiding you when you're lost."
-There are three levels to the Life Force pyramid.

 

Level One: Physical Body

This level involves your relationship with your own body and includes the following:

  • Diet, exercise, and sleep.
  • Starting out, having a positive relationship with your body will make you feel 85% better according to Dr. Stutz.

 

Level Two: People

  • This involves your relationship with other people.
  • "When people get depressed, they start to get pulled back, away from their life."
  • Dr. Stutz refers to relationships as "handholds to let yourself get pulled back into life".

"If you start feeling depressed or gloomy, take initiative and invite someone to coffee, even if you hate them".

 

Level Three: Yourself

  • This level is all about befriending your unconscious mind.
  • Do this by writing/journaling.
  • Write about whatever. Things will come out.
  • "Writing is like a mirror. It reflects what's going on in your unconscious."
"If you're lost, don't try to figure it out. Let it go and work on your life force first."

"By being passionate about your life force, everything else will fall into place."

Dr. Stutz

 

2. Part X

  • "Part X is the judgemental part of you, an invisible force that wants to keep you from growing. It wants to block your evolution, your potential."
  • "It wants to f*%! up your sh*t."
  • There are three aspects of reality that NOBODY gets to avoid:
    • >Pain
    • >Uncertainty
    • >Constant Work
  • "What will make you happy is the process. You have to learn how to love the process of dealing with those three things."
  • A favorite quote that is very related to being a Founder: "The highest creative expression for a human being is to be able to create something new right in the face of adversity. The worse the adversity, the greater the opportunity."

 

3. String of Pearls

  • "Failure or success, you're gonna keep going. I am the person that puts the next pearl on the string."
  • Think of your mom's or grandma's pearl necklace. Imagine each pearl on that necklace as a single action, where every action has the same value.
  • Also on each pearl, there's a little black or brown smudge. This smudge represents a turd, meaning not every effort you make is going to come out perfect.
  • No matter what, you always move forward. You have to be the one that puts the next pearl on the string.
  • You aren't the best and you aren't the worst, only look at yourself "in terms of the habits which you take action".
  • "Acquire a taste for uncertainty."
  • "The winner is not the one who always makes the best decisions or looks the best. The winner is the one who works that cycle. Who's willing to take risks, will interact with some degree of faith, and eats the consequences. If consequences are bad, then you work the cycle again."

 

4. Shadow 

  • Everyone has a shadow a.k.a the part of themselves they're ashamed of.
  • First thing is to identify your shadow.
  • Talk to your shadow, listen to your shadow.
  • Ask your shadow how well you've dealt with/have treated him or her.
  • "Your shadow needs attention, not from the world, but from you and only yourself."
  • If you don't pay attention to your shadow, the shadow will make you do destructive things.
  • When you can become in sync with your shadow, then you feel a sense of wholeness.

 

5. The Snapshot (a.k.a The Realm of Illusion)

  • We are all looking for a perfect experience.
  • Perfect wife, perfect house, perfect amount of money, the perfect tweet, etc...
  • This snapshot doesn't exist, it's just an image in your brain. It's created by Part X.
  • The snapshot has no movement and no depth, but everyone's reality is all about movement and depth.
  • It's along the same false illusion that if I just get X then I will finally be happy.
  • Remember the 3 Aspects of Reality (there's no escape):
    • Pain
    • Uncertainty
    • Constant work
  • "To truly be confident means to live in uncertainty, but to move forward with your life force anyway."
  • Stutz says: "We go to our friends so they listen but they often give us unsolicited advice...We go to our therapist for advice, and they often only listen".
  • We can't always get relatable advice from our friends, & therapists can't tell us what to do/
  • What Jonah was actually looking for in a human was the cross-section between the two. Someone who would listen and he could relate to that could also give him practical advice.
  • A shameless plug: That is exactly what we are building at @livedapp. A platform where you can get information, advice, and support from trustworthy peers that you can actually relate to.

 

Go browse Lived here:

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Read Sally's reflections here:

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