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Stress, Sex, and the Brain – The Connection Between Stress and Sexual Dysfunctions


In the challenging times we live in, stress has reached pandemic proportions in and of itself. These past couple of years have brought a worldwide rise in stress levels, as well as mental health issues. But an issue that is hardly being talked about, is how the rise in stress levels affects our sex lives and romantic relationships.

 

The ‘Fight or Flight ’Response – The Reason Stress and Sex Don’t go Well Together

Our early ancestors were very good at doing three things: evading predators, eating, and making babies. However, you would rarely catch them doing more than one of these activities at the same time. 

Modern humans face very different threats to our early ancestors; and yet, the fight-or-flight response is still hard-wired into our brains. So, whether we’re stressed out by a deadline, an argument, or an empty bank account, the primitive parts of our brains still respond as if we were about to face up to a vicious predator. As a result, our bodies and brains are often preoccupied and for those of us who struggle to de-stress, our sex lives suffer.

When you are threatened, your mind and body go into fight-or-flight mode. First, a part of your brain called the hypothalamus starts to speak to your pituitary gland. This causes your blood supply to travel toward your limbs rather than your genitals, so that you are better able to respond to the threat.

At the same time, your body stops producing sex hormones and instead floods your body with cortisol – a stress hormone that is associated with lower levels of sexual arousal and fertility. This means that when the fight-or-flight process is triggered, it’s nearly impossible to respond sexually, because your entire central nervous system is focused on the pressing task at hand: immediate survival.

 

What Can You Do If Stress Is Ruining Your Sex Life?

The answer is simple but also potentially complicated - you need to find ways of managing your stress! Easy and effective stress-relievers include daily exercise, yoga, a funny movie, or a good book. Take some time out from the daily grind and focus on relaxing and having fun!

If the regular stress-relievers don’t do the trick, you should consider using mindfulness meditation to help manage stress. This is a method backed by science: in this meta-analysis researchers concluded that mindfulness meditation is effective in reducing both stress levels and ruminative thinking. What’s more, another study about mindfulness meditation from 2018 showed that 9 out of 10 men who practiced mindfulness meditation for erectile dysfunction for 4 weeks were able to overcome situational erectile dysfunction. 

If your stress develops into an anxiety disorder – in which you feel constantly stressed even if there is nothing logical to be stressed about – you may want to consider seeking some support from a doctor or therapist. A certified therapist could use different techniques, such as cognitive behavioral therapy to help you alter your negative thinking patterns which might be at the root of your high stress levels.

Also keep in mind that sex itself is a great stress-reliever; and sexual dysfunctions can be a source of stress in and of themselves! Treating your sexual dysfunction can lead to a huge sense of relief, breaking the vicious cycle of stress leading to sexual problems, leading to even more stress

 

Summing Up

Stress affects nearly everyone, and many people find that their sex lives suffer as a result. There is a good reason for this: stress changes the workings of our brains and bodies in ways that make it incredibly difficult to get in the mood for sex – or any other sort of fun, for that matter.

The good news is that stress can be easily managed: you just need to get creative and find the strategy that works for you. For some, this might be a walk in the park (literally), or perhaps a coffee with your friend. So, whether you’re feeling stressed, having sex, or like so many of us, trying to do both at the same time – don’t forget to breathe!

 

*Daniel Sher is a registered clinical psychologist and a sex therapy expert. He is the creator of the Performance Anxiety Program – an online mindfulness meditation course for men’s performance anxiety


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