Perception Perfection

Check out our latest Mr. Perfect blog, a reflection of a handful of misconceptions of our founder, Terry Cornick.

"You must be a health freak Terry, you are so skinny!"

Nope. I've never had a big appetite, most of the time I don't have the patience for cooking and when I'm struggling mentally, the last thing of my mind is food so just don't eat or grab a slice of toast or chocolate bar. The truth is, I definitely do not look after myself when it comes to nutrition (my wife and mother-in-law save me at dinner-time).

I can go a long time without drinking, but when the storms are circling my alcohol intake can creep up, never getting "drunk" but it's clear a substantial glass of red wine or two can be a crutch.

As for exercise, I have not gone to the gym for 2 years, have not played football properly for a similar time and struggle to motivate myself to workout on my own (but my saviour is walking - I do a huge amount naturally, without planning to).

"You look like you have the perfect family"

I cannot imagine what I ever did to deserve my wife and boys. But behind these family photos we have had struggles that have and do push us to the edge, some caused by my mental struggles, some not.

We have seen the best and worst of each other as most strong partnerships do, and sit in "survival" mode regularly, figuring out being the best, loving parents we can be and dealing, just, with the current absence of a pre-kids relationship. And I can firmly attest to, I am human, I can still be a d***head at times too.

"You must be such a good dad"

I adore my boys, life before them almost seems like it did not exist. But, I still struggle being truly present, I can be physically there, more than most dads due to a flexible schedule, but mentally I can be occupied almost every waking moment of the day - it's exhausting.

I'll never be dad of the year, I worry I will be like my dad, and felt shame and guilt when I recently cried in front of my boy Finn in one of my dark periods. His reaction? He came and cuddled me, I calmed and he said "Daddy happy now?".

"You are good at public speaking"

A decade ago, I used call in sick to work when I had to do a presentation or do anything to avoid it. At university I did the same. At school, the same still.

It caused me chronic anxiety even answering a question in a classroom or more than a couple of people looking at me and expecting me to speak.

It has taken the last few years to become more comfortable and I've realised speaking about something that is real, is far easier. You cannot fake being authentic. But I still have last-minute thoughts about cancelling such events.

Conversely in a one-on-one coffee or truly meaningful chat, I could talk for Australia, despite being an introvert.

"You seem so calm and reserved"

I too can make irrational or sudden decisions or actions yet swing back and forth to being fairly conservative and focussed in other respects.

As my wife will confirm, I love the beach and ocean but an hour of stillness physically is all I can manage.

Daily my rumination can resemble a tornado and I can be convinced this thing we call life is pointless, yet an hour later can be in some form of peace or pure contentment.

If you want to write for Mr. Perfect and appear on our blog page, feel free to send an email to terry@mrperfect.org.au