Why did Mr. Perfect start?
- Like many men, our founder realised he was not Mr. Perfect. After a lifetime of mental struggle and repression, he finally navigated a semblance of a path to tackle this and found there was something missing in the support he accessed.
- A number of key events prompted a slow awakening to do something about his mental health:
- Father passing away from alcohol addiction.
- Plans to marry his partner.
- Thoughts about starting a future family.
- Quitting a successful job that he had no passion or purpose for.
- Along with these events happening in quick succession, there were some key drivers for the movement:
- Writing - as a freelance writer he started writing an anonymous blog for some self-therapy.
- Doctor Experience - when he finally went to a GP he was offered medication and a specialist (and no social options).
- Pub Chat - when he told his close mates about his struggles they both acknowledged they had struggled too.
- Connectedness Report - when he read a BeyondBlue / Movember report on “Men’s Connectedness” the main takeaway showed post-30 years old (kids, marriage, work stress etc.) mens’ social interactions and connections diminished rapidly.
- Football - he and his friends used football as their way of connecting so they advertised “kick-arounds” for any one to attend - these morphed into the now BBQs.
Who is Terry Cornick, Founder of Mr Perfect?
- Terry is a 30-something father of two young boys, working for a consultancy in healthcare by day and a writer at heart. Originally from the UK, he now lives on Sydney’s Northern Beaches and juggles the Mr. Perfect charity with a full life.
When did Mr. Perfect start?
- Officially in January 2016.
What is Mr. Perfect?
- Mr. Perfect is "Mental Health's Mate", a grassroots “pre-crisis” charity that creates community and connection by bringing men together at BBQs in local parks across Australia, to reduce isolation and encourage better mental health.
Is Mr. Perfect a clinical or crisis service?
- No, we are “pre-crisis, non-clinical organisation and will never offer advice or guidance on anything clinical, medical or similar.
- If you do require this we recommended crisis services such as MensLine, your regular GP or Mental Health Professional or calling 000 in an emergency.
Why is it called Mr. Perfect?
- One of Terry’s best mates used to tease him, calling him “Mr. Perfect” for seemingly “having it all”.
- After his move (“escape”) from the UK in 2009 to escape his internal troubles, he had reset his life and become “successful” for a few years but behind closed doors felt hopeless and at times suicidal.
- Mr. Perfect is ironic, sarcastic, and can represent the mask that men wear, as well as a nod to society’s expectations of men.
What happens at a Mr. Perfect BBQ?
- BBQ Hosts cook up a feed and introduce attendees to each other.
- Chat ranges from the everyday (sport, work, weather) to the deeper (mental health struggles, divorce, retirement, stories of hope and overcoming adversity).
- Politics, religion and divisive topics are avoided for obvious reasons.
- Sometimes there may be an informal footy kickaround or game of cricket or similar.
What measures are in place at Mr. Perfect BBQs due to COVID?
- We are abiding by all relevant State guidelines on social distancing and safety, at our BBQs we provide hand sanitiser, wipes and ensure gatherings are limited to the prescribed number allowed, if they exceed we split into separate groups.
What food is served at a Mr. Perfect BBQ?
- We cater for all but of course the humble sausage is usually first on the menu!
- If you have any particular dietary requirements please bring your own food along.
- We always recommend taking sunscreen and water.
Is it free to attend a Mr. Perfect BBQ?
- Absolutely free, we have a budget that allows to provide this.
Who attends Mr. Perfect BBQs?
- Anyone and everyone, but, generally 30-60 year old males, from lawyers, tradies, IT workers, students, retirees, single / divorced dads and everyone in between.
What happens if someone clearly in a crisis state attends a BBQ?
- We have a clear and detailed OH&S guide that all BBQ Hosts follow for any rare crisis events - if you wish to find out more about this email email@example.com
Can I discuss or present my commercial business to Mr. Perfect BBQ attendees?
- No, Mr. Perfect BBQs are not the place for this, no hawking of commercial services or products.
Is Mr. Perfect only for men?
- At our physical BBQs we are certainly men-focussed and can confidently say men will get more from the experience.
- However, we will never turn anyone away and encourage everyone to be involved online in our initiatives such as our active Facebook Community Group and TRH: The Reconnection Hour Livestream Shows every Thursday night at 8:30pm.
- We are acutely aware that some of our biggest supporters whether it be publicly or privately or women, and that their engagement online is high - they also have fathers, brothers, sons and partners they care about deeply.
How can I find nearest Mr. Perfect to me?
What does the Mr. Perfect BBQ Host do?
- Buys and cooks the food and introduces everyone, setting the welcoming tone.
- Builds a local following in the community with the help of Mr. Perfect HQ.
- Usually the host is community focussed and /or has a personal mental health story (them or family / friends) and / or works in a relevant industry.
How do I find out more about becoming a Mr. Perfect BBQ Host?
- First up read the information contained in this FAQ blog, then browse the website and social media channels.
- If you are then still keen after doing detailed research, fill out this form by clicking here.
What makes a great Mr. Perfect BBQ Host?
- Our most successful BBQ Hosts are committed (spending around 6-10 hours per month including the BBQ), organised and first-class communicators.
- Generally BBQ Hosts are already involved heavily in their community, have organised events and have a solid understanding of mental health experiences, be it they have come through their own challenges and are now thriving or they have helped others through struggle.
Does Mr. Perfect only run BBQs?
- No, we are pleased to say we have a thriving online community including a website with a fantastic blog resource, a private Facebook Community Group, SANE Forums for further support, an excellent Men’s Health Directory, weekly livestream shows interviewing high profile guests and even a brother organisation in the form of a successful football club named MRP FC.
Do you sell any Mr. Perfect merchandise?
- Yes, we have an on-demand stockist in Melbourne that you can access by clicking here.
Is Mr. Perfect staffed full-time?
- No, currently we rely on volunteers to run the BBQs and some help coordinating, but essentially our CEO is employed 1 day per week to run it.
How is Mr. Perfect funded?
- Currently we rely on a key sponsor Zurich Financial Services Australia for a yearly sponsorship and some private donations.
- We do not publicly ask for donations and run the charity incredibly lean each year, for about the price of a mid-range car.
- We do not access or bid for government funding except a handful of small local council grants.
How can I donate to Mr. Perfect?
- Although we do not ask for donations, if you wish to support us we are eternally grateful, you can click here or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org for bank transfer details.
Does Mr. Perfect have DGR status?
- Yes we do, this means your donation is likely to be tax deductible but please confirm with your accountant or tax agent.
I have some time to help Mr. Perfect, what is the best way to do this?
- Become a Mr. Perfect BBQ Host by clicking here.
- Tell everyone you know in your community about what we do.
- Share our work online across social media.
What does Mr. Perfect hope to accomplish?
- The least we strive for is to provide a place for men to be themselves for two hours per month and to get outside in the sunshine in a park and meet some new, friendly people.
- The most we hope to achieve is that a regular community is formed at the BBQs that leads way beyond the event, for example in some areas guys have met weekly for coffee, checked in on each other over phone and Zoom, formed cycling groups, even secured new employment!
What does Mr. Perfect hope for the future of men’s health in general?
- We hope that in a generation the current culture of men accessing support at the “hard”, crisis end of the scale will change and they will seek out connection earlier with social and grassroots services with a softer, more comfortable experience.
How can people find out more about Mr. Perfect - Mental Health’s Mate?
Head to www.mrperfect.org.au