How dance can help you as a man – it’s more of a man’s game than you realise
Dance can help you connect with yourself, women and other men. You might have already been thinking about taking dance lessons for that very reason. But I have seen many men go about it the wrong way. I will let you know how it worked for me so that it can work for you too.
In this context, dance means partner dance – things like tango, salsa, ballroom, swing and ballroom. It’s also called social dance – because it proved an excellent social tool.
How dance can help connect with yourself
Learning to dance is much like any other hobby in that you take on a challenge. As you become better, you feel a sense of achievement. This gives you a greater understanding of your own capability. Being reminded that you can achieve connects you with that part of you that can face uncertainty. With that connection, you feel better in yourself.
This sense of wellness is also enhanced simply by the endorphins that are released with any physical activity.
You will have your ups and downs as you learn dance, we all do with anything new, but as you progress, you will feel better and better about yourself.
You will also become more aware of your physicality. Dance demands a certain posture, movement and connection with music. As you develop these skills you will become more aware of your body, you will have greater control of it, you will start to walk taller and more confidently as your awareness of your very own body is increased.
You will also become more aware of music – its form and the nature of the emotions it generates within you. You need to dance in time and express the music. Music, and how you respond to it, will become more apparent to you. You probably have some appreciation of music now, but you will soon be able to connect with it in a way that allows you to explore yourself or disconnect from the world as you need.
Through dance you will become aware of yourself from your physical being to your ability to confront all challenges.
Connecting with women
Women do like a man who can dance. My sex life took off like a rocket when I learned to dance. There are a few reasons for this:
- You now have social events you can attend to meet women – dance events
- You no longer need a complicated pick-up line to talk to a woman – you simply ask her to dance
- Because men lead in dance, you already look like a man who can achieve things – so you kind of prove you have the right stuff from the get go
- Dance expresses many aspects of your core personality – you’re likely a considerate guy and this comes through with the way you lead when you dance so she can sense the real you quickly without all that posing nonsense common with dating these days
Connecting with others in general
It is called social dance. These dance events attract a number of people – men and women. And while you will be interacting mostly with women, you will want to take a break and simply talk to those also taking a break. Often other men. And once again you do not need to think of conversation starters. You can talk about the music, the crowd, the floor and where they learned to dance. You now have a shared interest to start the connection. A good portion of my professional network (I am an engineer in my day job and teach dance in the evenings) came from dance.
Making the most of dance
One of the biggest mistakes I have seen men make when learning dance is to expect immediate results. The thing is, as a man who leads, you will need more time to become good.
You should take lessons alone first and become good before dancing with others.
I would suggest this for married men who are looking for a way to keep their marriage going. I have seen a number of cases where a couple take on dance lessons and the wife simply gets frustrated with the husband – making things worse. But when a man takes lessons first and establishes himself as a competent dancer first, he becomes impressive in his wife’s eyes. That the effect you want.
If you are happily married and just looking for something to do together, then jump on in at the same time.
If you want to get good first and fast, then take on private lessons. You will that way have a dedicated teacher who will be there to help you progress. Just don’t go trying to pick up the dance teacher – it’s cliché and normally results in awkwardness. A good studio will also offer group lessons as well (usually complimentary if you are taking privates). That’s the ideal place to hone your skills – and meet others in the class.
Then when you feel up to it, start going to social events. You might need to shop around to find the right scene – location, dance style, crowd and time. But keep at it and you will see your connections grow.
Clint @ Destine Dance
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